Disappointment

{ April 30, 2008 @ 2:45 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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The look of disappointment.

Nothing is worse than seeing the look of disappointment on someone’s face. It just makes me feel worthless and incompetent.

What’s worst is that I’m being compared to someone else, I think. Someone who I know is more incompetent than me (let’s call him/her Person B) and yet receives praise. I don’t get it. Or maybe I don’t want to get it.

You know what I want to do? Bonk Person A on the head. (Person A is the one who does the praising blah) I mean like if you’re going to treat me differently, then at least have the decency to hide it and not display it in front of me.

Wait, I change my mind. The look of annoyance is much, much worse. Because now, I feel like an insect that someone just wants to squash. Ouch.

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{ April 30, 2008 @ 2:27 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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Life

{ April 27, 2008 @ 1:30 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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I feel like a spectator in my own life. I see my life go by and I barely have a role in it.

It’s like a play. The whole world is up there on stage while I’m sitting there as part of the audience. I feel like I don’t have control over my own life. It’s passing by so fast but I feel like I haven’t really done anything yet. It’s like I’m in a fast moving train to nowhere and I don’t know when or how to get off.

I also feel like everything around me has made me who I am. My parents, friends, society, the environment, etc. I wonder if I would still be the same person if I wasn’t influenced by them. That’s why I want to try living in a whole new environment different from what I have now. I’m pretty sure I won’t be the same person. And if that’s the case, are we really who we are? Or are we merely just adapting to the environment while our real self is kept hidden?

Brain Drain

{ March 21, 2008 @ 5:50 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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You know what I want? I want to experience brain trauma.

Not your ordinary kind of brain trauma that just involves bleeding and maybe possible death. No, I want the kind that gives you a special ability right after.

You’re all probably saying, what?

But it is possible though. I just saw National Geographic’s My Brilliant Brain and it showcased this man who had cerebral hemorrhage and was able to gain artistic abilities right after that incident.

I envy him. I also want to be artistic! I want my brain to be on autopilot and create ingenious artwork by itself. Sadly, my current brain isn’t capable of that.

Another reason is that I want to have a near-death experience. They say it changes your life. After having a little brush with death, maybe then will I start to LIVE.

Youtube Subscriptions

{ March 17, 2008 @ 5:31 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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I’m gonna share some YouTube accounts that I have subscribed to. Trust me, their videos are worth watching.

1.) Kevjumba - His videos are amazingly funny and entertaining. He was the reason why I signed up in YouTube in the first place. He is adorable :) but a tad too young for me. Haha! I would recommend watching this and this.

 

2.) HappySlip - Her videos are also a must-see. She recently just visited the Philippines and I wish I could have met her but her videos about her tour here in the Philippines would have to do. Watch this and this.

 

3.) WongFu Productions - These guys are so incredible. They add a lot of meaning and depth to their videos. All of their work is creative and it doesn’t hurt that Philip and Wes are good looking. =p Some of my favorites: Yellow Fever and Nice guy. Oh, did I mention they’re just about the right age? Haha! =p

 

4.) Sungha Jung - This 11-year old child is a guitar prodigy! Just watch him play to believe.

 

5.) Marie Digby - Her voice is wonderful and her lyrics are remarkable. Watch her here.

Do you guys have other recommendations? =)

The kindest thing someone has done for me

{ March 17, 2008 @ 7:11 am } · { Uncategorized }
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TOPIC: The kindest thing someone has done for me

I can’t believe it. I can’t think of anything. I have to rack up my brain for this topic.

A cliche answer would be my parents taking care of me, blah blah, but that’s already obvious. If I were to choose someone else other than my family, then it would be….

10 minutes later…….. (literally)

Okay, I really can’t think of anything. How pathetic is that? I mean, of course there are occasional small kind things people have done to me like taking me home or helping me out. It counts for something but I have to think of the kindEST thing. For me, that means something BIG like paying for my tuition or helping me build a business, etc.

So for now, I would have to disregard this topic. I don’t know why I chose it in the first place. It seemed like a good one except for the fact that I have nothing to write about it.

Wishlist

{ March 17, 2008 @ 5:53 am } · { Uncategorized }
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This is my current wishlist. *hint hint*

Top: Ghost deck, Masters deck

Bottom: Vintage Deck

These cost around $5 each from Ellusionist. I would order them if there was no international shipping fee of $10!! The shipping fee costs more than the cards themselves! Nevertheless, I am happy that I already own a Viper black deck from Ellusionist (picture below). I’m gonna collect these decks when I have the money.

 

Another thing I want:

MAC 187 Duo Fibre Brush =)

costs around p2700+. pricey!

 

yes, i want bunnies. =)

 

 

New hobby - hopefully

{ March 17, 2008 @ 5:07 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I really really will start blogging frequently now - hopefully. The problem I had before was that I didn’t know what to write about. Now, I’ve stumbled upon a really good website that offers ideas on what I can write about. This is the link if anyone else is interested. Not that I think anyone else is reading my blog. *sigh* Well, this blog is just for me anyway. A blog a day keeps the psychiatrist away. Or so I think.

Forgotten

{ March 17, 2008 @ 5:06 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I’ve actually forgotten that I had a wordpress account. So I’m transferring all my other blogs here and will be blogging here from now on.

Attitude

{ September 1, 2007 @ 4:18 am } · { Uncategorized }
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There’s a saying goes, “Treat people the way you want to be treated”. I’ve edited that version and came up with a similar one of my own. “I treat people the way they treat me”.

It’s amazing how easy it is for people to call out my faults when it’s so obvious they have that same fault. I only mirror the the kind of attitude that has been shown to me plus my own attitude which often, equals something worse. This happens when I feel like an attack has been done or when I feel like I’ve been insulted. I think that, somehow, I want to make the that person feel how the other end feels like.

Although if I’m treated with great kindness, I make sure to give something back in return. I’m in awe when I meet these people. It’s so rare to see kind people these days, especially sincere ones. I have a lot of admiration for them that I also would like to change and be like them. I would try for maybe a couple of days but then, I’d revert back to my old self. It’s a hard feat in this world today. Kindness is met with abuse or manipulation. People seem to equate kindness with vulnerability. People just boss around the “underdog” because they think they can get away with it. Sometimes, they do get away with it. They suck the life out of the person that in the end, there would be no kindness left.

I guess I’m one of those people. I felt like all the kindness has been sucked out of me. Now, I have these walls around me to protect myself from all the manipulators. I have been used, ordered around and took crap from people. Never again.

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