Archive for April, 2008

Disappointment

{ April 30, 2008 @ 2:45 pm } · { Uncategorized }
{ Tags: } · { Leave a Comment }

The look of disappointment.

Nothing is worse than seeing the look of disappointment on someone’s face. It just makes me feel worthless and incompetent.

What’s worst is that I’m being compared to someone else, I think. Someone who I know is more incompetent than me (let’s call him/her Person B) and yet receives praise. I don’t get it. Or maybe I don’t want to get it.

You know what I want to do? Bonk Person A on the head. (Person A is the one who does the praising blah) I mean like if you’re going to treat me differently, then at least have the decency to hide it and not display it in front of me.

Wait, I change my mind. The look of annoyance is much, much worse. Because now, I feel like an insect that someone just wants to squash. Ouch.

Protected: Blame

{ April 30, 2008 @ 2:27 pm } · { Uncategorized }
{ Tags: } · { Enter your password to view comments }

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


Life

{ April 27, 2008 @ 1:30 pm } · { Uncategorized }
{ Tags: , , } · { Leave a Comment }

I feel like a spectator in my own life. I see my life go by and I barely have a role in it.

It’s like a play. The whole world is up there on stage while I’m sitting there as part of the audience. I feel like I don’t have control over my own life. It’s passing by so fast but I feel like I haven’t really done anything yet. It’s like I’m in a fast moving train to nowhere and I don’t know when or how to get off.

I also feel like everything around me has made me who I am. My parents, friends, society, the environment, etc. I wonder if I would still be the same person if I wasn’t influenced by them. That’s why I want to try living in a whole new environment different from what I have now. I’m pretty sure I won’t be the same person. And if that’s the case, are we really who we are? Or are we merely just adapting to the environment while our real self is kept hidden?